OK, many have asked about my unique nickname. "Where did you get that?" or "What is a PenisGnome?". No, it's PEANUT Gnome.
OK, most of you know what gnomes are, right? Short, pudgy little people, pointy hats, live in forests or woodlands - all over really. Well they often work underground. They also live for hundreds of years.
But eventually all good things must come to an end. Even gnomes pass away.
Just as we honor our own fallen brethren with statues and artwork, so do the gnomes. You may have seen the gnarled gnome faces that come from tree bark. These are one of the forms of honor that human artisans discover. They don't carve the faces out of the tree, they reveal what is already there.
Well, this isn't the only form that they display to honor their folk - the peanut gnome is another.
Have you ever separated a whole peanut into two halves? (I don't recommend doing this if you have peanut allergies. As awe inspiring as it is, death is not worth seeing this form of art first-hand.) Well you will notice that the halves aren't exactly equal - one has a 'divot' and the other has a little nub.
Often this nub looks like a fish, but many times it has the appearance of a face. But not just any face. Occasionaly it is a perfect gnome face. If you see one of these you are witnessing a miracle! Tiny little gnomes have carved the faces within the peanuts as they begin to grow. These miniature sculptures are incredible works of art, crafted by incredible artisans.
So this leads me to my nickname. I was sober once around a bunch of whacked out friends (they started partying WAAAAYYYYYY before I got to) and noticed one of these little beauties while eating a handful of peanuts. I showed it to them. After their laughter stopped they noticed it actually WAS a little face. Hence the nick.
I hope you have the joy of experiencing peanutgnomes. Remember to show them to your whacked out friends...